My First Hater

I should have known when I woke up punching my pillow this morning that it would be a day filled with a quiet rage.  As so many others feel during the grieving process, I am now battling with anger that is threatening to eat me alive.  It is horrible.  I am at war with myself.  Feeling mad at our situation…then feeling guilty about feeling angry…then feeling disappointed that I’m not feeling happy or being more optimistic.  And then back to feeling mad.  This is the endless cycle I have been facing lately and I am working SO hard to fight it.  To poop butterflies.  To only focus on me and what I can control.

Unfortunately, I cannot control other people.

Today, I received my very first blog hater.  I am not quite sure what prompted such a mean message. But it hurt.  Badly.  At first, I deleted the message and wasted the time I should have been finishing my homework before class with a full-fledged crying fit.  But when the tears cleared, I decided that I wasn’t going to let that a-hole get the best of me. I was half tempted to seek full-on revenge by posting the commenter’s email address publicly, but revenge will never heal my heart.  Oh, I’m sure it would put a band-aid on my wound, but ultimately it would become infected with the sour feeling of inflicting an ‘eye-for-an-eye’.

As much as I would looooooove to give that you-know-what a big giant F.U. and a double birdie, that is not what Jesus would do.  So, I’ve settled on something different.  Inspired by The Shine Project, I would like your support in having a Callie Marie Shine Project today (and maybe every day).  Today, let’s choose kindness.  Help me bully this meanie with love and affection.  Today, go do something kind for someone else in Callie’s memory.  Maybe you leave a nice note on the ladies’ bathroom that will boost someone’s self-esteem.  Maybe you could pay for the person’s coffee behind you in line.  Give a compliment to a random stranger.  Send an email to someone you love telling them how special they are to you.  Bonus points if you can get your random stranger to pay the kindness forward!! 🙂  I’ve always heard that you have to say 5 nice things to make up for one mean thing.  Well, how about we make that 500?

Please help heal my heart by posting your random acts of kindness below.

I found out that this comment was generated by a spammer and I fell for it!  Comments will now have to await approval from me before becoming live on this site.  If ya ain’t got nuthin’ good to say, don’t say nuthin’ at all.  Nuff said.

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12 thoughts on “My First Hater

  1. Two quotes immediately come to mind as I read today’s post.

    1. “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
    2. “Happiness is the best revenge!”

    Don’t let this person’s ignorance get the best of you. You have bestowed tremendous grace and courage through this blog. You are amazing!

  2. Kristin,

    Rest assured that you are absolutely correct. You have NO control over the negativity others impose on you. In fact, that negativity is most likely misdirected. They are probably very angry at themselves or at some personal situation. That does NOT excuse their insensitivity, but at least provides some understanding, I think. You are SO brave and I read your blog for inspiration every time I see a new post pop up. You have been through something so very devastating, and you are still maintaining your hope and your light. You are shining on, just like Callie, and that is something you should be SO proud of. You are an honor to her memory.

    Try to keep that light shining, because God knows we could use some more people in this world as wonderful as you are.

    Love,

    Jen

  3. Okay, I did a random act of kindness. Our swim team has recieved a couple of emails about a child whose mother has a condition leaving her unable to drive but the child is on our team, and needs volunteers to drive him/or/her to and from practice. Twice I read those posts, and thought “I really should offer to help out” and then let myself get busy and forgot all about it. Today after reading your blog, I immediatley contacted a board member and asked to start taking this child to his practices. It’s a tiny thing, and something I should have already done, but I’m glad you inspired me to do it! I am going to try to think of some more kindess I can perform in your honor. HUGS

  4. Kristin, I am sure that comment was posted by a troll who only wanted to get a reaction. He probably didn’t even read your posts and was only looking for a reaction. Don’t take it personally. Trolls are sick.

  5. I have been following your blog for months. A friend sent me a link to it and I have not been able to stop reading your posts. I admire how strong you are. I read your posts and think..what would I have done in her situation.” I admire your strength and totally would lend you my shoulder when you were having your “bad days”. I love how you found this way (posting your thoughts/feelings) to express yourself.

  6. Kristin, I am so sorry you recieved a negative comment. It is sad that there is such negativity in the world, especially when your blog is nothing but beauty, in both your raw emotions and stories of your beautiful girl.
    I love The Shine Project! I think that Ashley is such an inspiration, and everytime I read her blog, I can’t help but feel happy and want to do something good.

    I too plan to pay kindness forward, thanks for the reminder:)

  7. That comment was spam posted by a robot. Google the text. It gets people to click on their name or links they post. No one hates you or what you’re doing!! The world is full of idiots and they all seem to live in online comments.

  8. Ugh, that’s awful to get. Even if it is spam but you don’t know in the moment. Hope you are feeling better now. I like the project of random kindness. Does so much for both the giver and the one who get it.

  9. Pingback: 2012: You Were a Jerk! Resolutions and a New Project | our sunshine angel

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